I wanted Swan Lake, but instead I got Mary McNamara.

I woke up this morning groggy as usual then I remembered that there might be a review of Joffrey Ballet's Swan Lake which premiered last night. I was suddenly alert. I flipped through my city's newspaper for the arts & entertainment section, finally getting to it and disregarding the rest of the sections like gift wrap on Christmas morning.

"Where is it?" I thought to myself since it wasn't the on the front page. Then at the bottom I saw this eye-catching headline; its content more predictable than I can imagine. It was a review, sorta, not on a ballet production, but how maternity is portrayed on television.

The two series could not be more different. "Homeland" is the once-exalted then much-criticized Showtime political thriller rebooting its fourth season to wary and conditional praise. "Jane the Virgin" is a highly anticipated CW comedy, with magical realism top-notes and a very high buzz factor.

Yet they share a troubling and unexpected theme: Socially Enforced Motherhood.

Despite their contrasting tone, form and intent, both shows insist that, deep down, every woman wants a child no matter the conditions, even when the woman in question has made it very clear that she does not feel this way at all.

So two shows all of a sudden make up a "tyranny" (of motherhood). That's an impressive conclusion to come up with.

No mention of whether or not the use of a biblical story as a plot device to make a comedy -- a virgin becoming miraculously impregnated without any sexual intercourse or in vitro -- was a "wise" decision to the audience members who may be religious since it obviously uses the story in a mocking manner (the character wants to save sex for marriage). It's parody.

No mention of whether or not the feelings of, I would bet, most women when they find they are pregnant: joy - shock - nervousness - happiness.

Nope.

McNamara, a mother of three, sees these two shows - one a comedy, the other a drama - as vehicles of "socially enforced motherhood" even though abortion- on-demand is basically the issue for modern day women -- supported like crazy in her circles, elite journalism, and in the city of L.A. This mentality of feeling threatened I mention here and the abortion issue mentioned here.

I would think that if a mother of three is critical of this "socially enforced motherhood" then she must have a good point, right? I mean, if mothers themselves support abortion and woman's "right" to be childless, for whatever reasons, then that's how society should work, right? 

 All of a sudden the L.A. Times writer feels threatened by two shows. How about all the rest of the shows out there that are getting publicity?

In the Middle portrays a family, the Midwest of course, of five as lovable fools and motherhood as unattractive and (somewhat) miserable. The same with Malcolm in the Middle. Most of the shows today, when two characters have sex, don't even mention the pregnancy. They just get all hot, proceed to make out and get naked. Or the director just shoots the sex scene and skips the make out session and build up (see: Game of Thrones).

Or how about Sex and the City, Mistresses, Scandal and Revenge? How is maternity portrayed? I can safely say maternity isn't shown in anyway positive -- little to no affection, no anything. Just "that's my daughter/wife you slept with," type of attitude.   

All of a sudden McNamara wants the characters to practice "choice."

I do wonder what her thoughts are of the shows I mentioned. I wonder if the choices the females made in the shows would be seen as "empowering." I'd guess McNamara would complain about sexism and patriarchy.  

This "not wanting a child", kinda just using the reproductive sex organs as a gateway to pleasure without the consequences (nipping the babe in the butt), outright rejects the natural purpose of it. It divorces mind & body (though, if McNamara practices yoga or is a marathon runner she'll probably resort to the "mind & body" slogan). It draws a parallel to transgenderism and homosexuality as well, but especially transgenderism.

• Transgenderism - a man/woman whose brain tells them they're a woman/man. Obviously nature gave them something else than what their brains makes them think they are.
• Homosexuality - a man/woman is attracted to a man/woman. "Consuming" the relationship is a waste.
• Feminism - choosing not to allow the natural course of reproduction to occur, therefore rejecting the natural "job" and duty of maternity of which those organs call for.

And it's all about sex (and feelings), isn't it? They are all connected.

There's another through-line involved with these three: Neither of these are romantic. At All. I'm using "romantic" in its most classic sense.

But Swan Like is. It's a classic in the cannon of ballets. It's timeless. Even with modern twists and interpretation, it's still Swan Lake (unless some choreographer totally butchers the story). The only "crazy" thing in the story is between Odette and Odile, otherwise known as the White Swan and Black Swan. No, it ain't no lesbo story (I did enjoy the movie, though).

Maybe I'll be met with a Swan Lake review tomorrow morning. Maybe. Maybe I'll be met with beauty: