When I was about to enter the airport, my uncle quickly pulled me aside - away from my mom and aunt. A man talk. Yes.
"GRA, don't marry an American girl."
"Okay, Tito."
That's it. We rejoined the women; we hugged, kissed, said our goodbyes and my mom and I entered the airport. The problem? I live in America.
I didn't much of it when he said it to me. I didn't even think about it on the plane ride home.
What did my uncle mean by "don't marry an American girl"? Four years have past and, if I haven't misinterpreted this cryptic request, I think I have an idea what he meant.
When I re-entered the States I met a few friends at a restaurant a couple of days later. It was one of those "haven't seen ya for quite sometime, what's up?" type of dinners. The discussion veered towards women. One of the guys said that American women come off as entitled. Was this what my uncle was warning me about? Since my uncle gets his impressions about America from my mother and whatever he hears and processes through the media, I can see that he might see American women as less than marriage material (of course there will be women who will demean marriage and question its existence, if not applaud its current transformation). To be fair, the American media is over sexual and feeds of off the most embarrassing personalities of those that producers and actors deem as "the masses." With that said, I think my uncle was onto something; he saw and felt something wasn't "right" about American women.
In my experience, the women I wanted to date gave off some red flags. On the other hand my older lady friends got married and seem to be in a happy marriages. What they - the older ladies - had in common? A good majority of them were raised Catholic and continue to attend mass whenever possible; some were traditional Catholics. The women I had feelings for? All but one was a Christian (Catholic, actually). I will address each one by the first letter of their name.
"K" is "half"-Jewish (either mom or dad was a non-practicing Protestant, the other Jewish), smokes pot, isn't bright and has other personal issues. "I" isn't religious though she has an interest in "old" religions in a "historic"/hobby-ish way and was the typical NYC girl (raised in Brooklyn by a rather wealthy mother, no mention of her dad, attended a private school later to attend an Ivy university). She seems rather "easy" as well. "S" was the Catholic, but she admits not being sure if there's a heaven, let alone a god, so I'd say she's agnostic. "S", once you got to know her, would probably be the closest to "marriage material." There are more. "C" is a sweet girl; really is the walking granola type (raised as a vegan, and the only vegan that I know of that isn't a militant in the worst possible way) and it rather outdoorsy. Despite our lifestyle differences I think we can carry a successful relationship in terms of "girlfriend and boyfriend." I'm not sure about marriage, though, since I'm not sure about her religious beliefs - if she has any to begin with. "S2" is taken, upon reflection, is the only girl that I thought really was the most "solid" as a person - besides "C" - but unfortunately she's taken. (Though, red flag with "S2": her fiance has a child out of wedlock from another relationship, and "S2" is currently pregnant with his child. They are engaged, at least.)
In short, most are damaged goods - more damaged than any respectable man can bare, comfort, let alone raise a child with. Many have not questioned modernism nor do they care much about questioning it. "I" practically wrote a paper about the wonderment of what could be considered "good" art, let alone what would be considered art years from now -- I cannot see how anyone can be filled with wonderment about this. The cosmos, yes, but art? At this rate, something simple as a dot would be deemed "artistic"(if it hasn't already) and a naked clitoris in black and white would be seen as "progressive." I still have some hope for "I."Actually, when she described her personal fashion as "feministic" I got a bit worried, if not confused. At first I thought "feminine." No. "Feministic."
Maybe I'm not giving the (practicing) Catholic women a chance - after all, many of the women I had interest in, as written above, were pretty much secular with an empty spiritual life.
____
Dear Tito,
The more I think about your "don't marry and American girl" and the more I think about my experiences and observations of American women, the more I can see where you're getting at.
Love,
GRA
P.S. I am now f_ckin' depressed when I think of your request.
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